Excerpt from Divorced! (Romer): Don't Let Your Ex Make You Miserable




From Divorced! by Joanna Romer


Don’t Let Your Ex Make You Miserable!

While many divorced people want to discuss with their ex “what went wrong” with their marriage, you may find yourself coming to dread such conversations. Going through my second divorce, I told my therapist, “I feel awful after I talk with him, and I don’t know why!”

The therapist’s reply: “So, don’t talk to him.”

“What do you mean?” I asked. “I have to talk to him—“

“Why?” he interrupted. “You’ve got a lawyer. Everything’s pretty  much hashed out anyway. 
So, don’t call him.”

I was doubtful. “What if he calls me?”

“Don’t answer.”

Even though it seemed initially like the cowardly way of handling things, I soon found that I felt much better without the bi-weekly conversation with my ex, where we’d been trying to discuss our differences. After two weeks of not talking to him at all, I was noticeably more cheerful. As my therapist said, everything important had already been worked out.
Earlier in this book, I pointed out that the most important thing for both partners after or during  the divorce is to get on with your life. Painful explanations of why one party walked out on the other, or what either party should have done, serve no purpose once the decision to divorce has been made. If you are like me, you’ll find it more pleasant to avoid such discussions.

Your job, after the separation, is to get your self-esteem back up and your zest for life flowing again. Look around—there are plenty of ways to do just that!



For more posts about Joanna Romer and her many books, click HERE.



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