From the Blog Posts of MSI Press Authors: "The Monster in My Head" (Keathley)
Diana Keathley, author of the award-winning GodSway, wrote an intriguing blog post, quite seasonal, recently: "The Monster in My Head." (The link will take you to this blog post -- and others.)
Should you not like clicking links, here is the full post:
With my broken foot booted and propped up, I sat angled in the corner of the couch surfing the station guide and Netflix to find something to take my mind off the most recent frustration. Looking for something uplifting and inspiring, I was annoyed that so close to Halloween practically all I found were horror movies and sci-fi thrillers – a myriad of variations of ghosts, monsters, murderers, and resident evil. As someone who experienced my own version of a horror movie inside my head as a young teen, I can’t understand why people choose to watch those scenarios, on purpose.
“With the door firmly shut and locked, I could roll with the wave of sheer terror that I physically felt surging up through my legs, torso, and engulfing my head. I broke out into a cold sweat, beads running down my face and arms. The moisture on my chest wet my bra and shirt. I sank trembling onto the closed toilet lid, dizzy and rocking in agony.
As the physiological manifestations racked my body, my mind raged equally on the inside. You know you are going to die, everyone does! I imagined myself inside a dark, stifling coffin. It will be dark, with no air. I saw the wooden box in a hole with dirt being shoveled on top. You’ll be buried there for thousands of years. Your flesh will rot, then you will turn to dust. No one will know you were ever there or that you ever existed. I tried to fight back and make the thoughts stop…” (excerpt from my book, GodSway: My Anecdotes with God, p. 35-36)
It was all too real and too terrifying then for me to want to relive the experience through a horror movie years later. A friend and coworker at YWCA Tulsa helped me understand the attraction. She once admitted – surprisingly to me, as she was such a caring, soft-spoken woman of faith – that she loves horror movies. When quizzed as to why, she said that by subjecting herself to the fear and watching through to the end, she felt empowered. It made her think that if something truly terrifying ever actually happened to her, she’d be able to envision a resolution; she’d be able to see herself getting through it. Her answer made sense.
But to people who have never actually experienced real terror, who say it’s just make-believe – scary fun – out of someone’s imagination, I say, “Not so!” We have a very real spiritual enemy who deals in the currency of fear. He is described in Scripture as a thief, a wolf, and a lion – among other things – coming only to steal, kill, and destroy. (See John 10:10a) In I Peter 5:8-9 we are warned, “Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour. Resist him, steadfast in the faith, knowing that the same sufferings are experienced by your brotherhood in the world.”
How do we resist, then? Peter goes on in verse 10 to remind us Who the center of our faith is, Christ Jesus. He is the Shepherd who has rescued the sheep from the wolf; He is the lion Tamer; He is the under-cover Chief of detectives who has already outsmarted the would-be thief. (Though, as you suspect, that last one is not actually from Scripture.)
That’s how we resist: “steadfast in the faith, knowing…” Knowing that our enemy is using his same bag of evil tricks – fear, insecurity, doubt, illness, addiction (the list goes on and on) – to trip up all of us out here trying to live a good life of faith. And also knowing that Jesus, the resurrected Christ, holds us in His loving hands, safe from every attack of our mortal enemy, the unseen, but very real, monster in our head. He is the Shepherd who has rescued the sheep from the wolf; He is the lion Tamer; He is the under-cover Chief of detectives who has already outsmarted the would-be thief. (Though, as you suspect, that last one is not actually from Scripture.)
That’s how we resist: “steadfast in the faith, knowing…” Knowing that our enemy is using his same bag of evil tricks – fear, insecurity, doubt, illness, addiction (the list goes on and on) – to trip up all of us out here trying to live a good life of faith. And also knowing that Jesus, the resurrected Christ, holds us in His loving hands, safe from every attack of our mortal enemy, the unseen, but very real, monster in our head.
Awards
New York Book Festival finalist
Hollywood Book Festive finalist
For more posts about Diana and her book, click HERE.
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