Daily Excerpt: How My Cat Made Me a Better Man (Feig) - Relationships: The Approach
This excerpt comes from How My Cat Made Me a Better Man by Jeremy Feig.
RELATIONSHIPS
the
approach
Finding a date is similar to making new
friends, but with a better chance you'll end up in bed together. A few guys are
type-A personalities, able to effortlessly schmooze and dazzle the ladies. But
for the majority of us, getting a date takes real effort. You have to deal with
the anxiety and fear of rejection that come with asking a woman out. That's
true whether it's in person or online. Because it can be just as nerve-wracking
writing an email on a dating site as approaching a stranger in a club. Once you
hit that send button, it's all out there.
Women are lucky. They can pick and
choose from all the guys with their hokey pickup lines and overabundance of
cologne. That's because society, annoying presence that it is, says that men
have to ask women out. So the pressure is all on you. And unless you put
yourself out there, chances are you'll be going home alone again, with only Big
Bang Theory reruns to keep you company.
Being shot down a lot can give your
confidence a beating. So how do you approach a woman if you're 98% sure she's
not interested? You just do it. It's like parachuting. When you're standing by
an open door 10,000 feet above the ground, you don't have a lot of options. You
either jump out of the plane or you don't. Once you jump, there's no turning
back.
When you walk up to a woman, the
parachute jump is in motion. She's expecting you to say something, so get to
it. Compliment her on her outfit, or on some part of her body other than her
breasts, legs or butt. Ask her what she's drinking, talk about the weather,
tell her about your cat. Just say something. You might get rejected, but at
least you gave yourself the chance to succeed.
Use Your Cat to Your Advantage: Cat in a Backpack
Putting your cat in a backpack is a
great way to break the ice. First, make sure she's comfortable in the backpack
and can poke her head out. Next, be amazed as random women approach you and
strike up a conversation, mostly along the lines of "Why do you have a cat
in a backpack?"
Shelly had plenty of confidence, which
showed in her demeanor. If she felt like eating, she'd demand it. If she wanted
to sleep on my open laptop, she'd flop onto it. She didn't waste time
over-thinking potential outcomes. She just did what she wanted.
If you don't have confidence, fake it.
Go up to that sexy thang in the short skirt, telling yourself that she wants to
hear what you have to say. Act like you're the most interesting guy in the
place, even if you don't believe it yourself. Now I'm not saying to be a cocky
jackass or anything. Trust me, she already deals with enough guys like that.
Just be yourself, but project it strongly. And know that whatever happens--even
if she rejects you in two seconds flat--there will always be another opportunity
with another girl.
Shelly had an intimate relationship
with her stuffed turtle. When she wanted to have "relations" with it,
she followed three simple steps. You can take the same approach, making
adjustments for the fact that you'd be dealing with a human woman:
1. Initiate
contact: Shelly walks to the stuffed turtle and gives it the eye.
2. Strike
up a conversation: In Shelly's case, it was a sexually charged
"rawwrrrr."
3. See
how it plays out: Shelly's success rate was 100% since her target was an
inanimate object.
Chances are you won't have a 100%
success rate on the romantic front. Heck, your rate might be in the single
digits. But don't let that stop you from giving it your best shot.
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Read more posts by and about Jeremy Feig HERE.
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