Daily Excerpt: How My Cat Made Me a Better Man (Feig) - Relationships: The Approach

 

This excerpt comes from  How My Cat Made Me a Better Man by Jeremy Feig.

RELATIONSHIPS

the approach

Finding a date is similar to making new friends, but with a better chance you'll end up in bed together. A few guys are type-A personalities, able to effortlessly schmooze and dazzle the ladies. But for the majority of us, getting a date takes real effort. You have to deal with the anxiety and fear of rejection that come with asking a woman out. That's true whether it's in person or online. Because it can be just as nerve-wracking writing an email on a dating site as approaching a stranger in a club. Once you hit that send button, it's all out there.

Women are lucky. They can pick and choose from all the guys with their hokey pickup lines and overabundance of cologne. That's because society, annoying presence that it is, says that men have to ask women out. So the pressure is all on you. And unless you put yourself out there, chances are you'll be going home alone again, with only Big Bang Theory reruns to keep you company.

Being shot down a lot can give your confidence a beating. So how do you approach a woman if you're 98% sure she's not interested? You just do it. It's like parachuting. When you're standing by an open door 10,000 feet above the ground, you don't have a lot of options. You either jump out of the plane or you don't. Once you jump, there's no turning back.

When you walk up to a woman, the parachute jump is in motion. She's expecting you to say something, so get to it. Compliment her on her outfit, or on some part of her body other than her breasts, legs or butt. Ask her what she's drinking, talk about the weather, tell her about your cat. Just say something. You might get rejected, but at least you gave yourself the chance to succeed.

Use Your Cat to Your Advantage: Cat in a Backpack

Putting your cat in a backpack is a great way to break the ice. First, make sure she's comfortable in the backpack and can poke her head out. Next, be amazed as random women approach you and strike up a conversation, mostly along the lines of "Why do you have a cat in a backpack?"

Shelly had plenty of confidence, which showed in her demeanor. If she felt like eating, she'd demand it. If she wanted to sleep on my open laptop, she'd flop onto it. She didn't waste time over-thinking potential outcomes. She just did what she wanted.

If you don't have confidence, fake it. Go up to that sexy thang in the short skirt, telling yourself that she wants to hear what you have to say. Act like you're the most interesting guy in the place, even if you don't believe it yourself. Now I'm not saying to be a cocky jackass or anything. Trust me, she already deals with enough guys like that. Just be yourself, but project it strongly. And know that whatever happens--even if she rejects you in two seconds flat--there will always be another opportunity with another girl.

Shelly had an intimate relationship with her stuffed turtle. When she wanted to have "relations" with it, she followed three simple steps. You can take the same approach, making adjustments for the fact that you'd be dealing with a human woman:

1. Initiate contact: Shelly walks to the stuffed turtle and gives it the eye.

2. Strike up a conversation: In Shelly's case, it was a sexually charged "rawwrrrr."

3. See how it plays out: Shelly's success rate was 100% since her target was an inanimate object.

Chances are you won't have a 100% success rate on the romantic front. Heck, your rate might be in the single digits. But don't let that stop you from giving it your best shot.


AWARDS
Book of the Year finalist
Kops-Fetherling International Book Award, legacy award for humor




Read more posts by and about Jeremy Feig HERE.





To purchase copies of this book at 25% discount,
use code FF25 at MSI Press webstore.



Want to buy this book and not have to pay for it?
Ask your local library to purchase and shelve it.





(recent releases, sales/discounts, awards, reviews, Amazon top 100 list, author advice, and more -- stay up to date)


 



Follow MSI Press on TwitterFace Book, and Instagram. 






Interested in publishing with MSI Press LLC? 



We help writers become award-winning published authors. One writer at a time. We are a family, not a factory. Do you have a future with us?





Turned away by other publishers because you are a first-time author and/or do not have a strong platform yet? If you have a strong manuscript, San Juan Books, our hybrid publishing division, may be able to help.





Check out information on how to submit a proposal.





Planning on self-publishing and don't know where to start? Our author au pair services will mentor you through the process.







Interested in receiving a free copy of this or any MSI Press LLC book in exchange for reviewing a current or forthcoming MSI Press LLC book? Contact editor@msipress.com.




Want an author-signed copy of this book? Purchase the book at 25% discount (use coupon code FF25) and concurrently send a written request to orders@msipress.com.

Julia Aziz, signing her book, Lessons of Labor, at an event at Book People in Austin, Texas.




Want to communicate with one of our authors? You can! Find their contact information on our Authors' Pages.

Steven Greenebaum, author of award-winning books, An Afternoon's Discussion and One Family: Indivisible, talking to a reader at Barnes & Noble in Gilroy, California.






   
MSI Press is ranked among the top publishers in California.
Check out our rankings -- and more --
 HERE.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

In Memoriam: Carl Don Leaver

MSI Press Ratings As a Publisher

Literary Titan Reviews "A Theology for the Rest of Us" by Yavelberg