How My Cat Made Me a Better Tax Accountant

 

in honor of Ginger Cat Day

 My cat doesn’t file returns.

She doesn’t balance ledgers or reconcile accounts. But she does understand the principle of allocation.

Every morning, she allocates her time precisely:

  • 40% staring at the food bowl,

  • 30% inspecting the sunbeam,

  • 20% monitoring me for signs of movement toward the kitchen,

  • 10% miscellaneous (usually judging).

That’s a perfect pie chart — and she never needs a calculator.

Watching her, I realized that good accounting isn’t about numbers; it’s about attention. Cats notice everything. They track inputs (treats), outputs (energy expended chasing imaginary prey), and depreciation (the slow decline of toy mice). They even understand accruals: the promise of dinner is recorded long before delivery.

She also taught me the art of audit defense. When questioned — “Did you knock that off the counter?” — she maintains eye contact, blinks slowly, and says nothing. Silence, it turns out, is a powerful compliance strategy.

And then there’s risk management. She never jumps onto a surface without assessing stability, height, and potential reward. That’s cost‑benefit analysis in motion. I’ve started applying the same logic to deductions: if it doesn’t look stable, don’t leap.

Finally, she’s a master of year‑end review. Every December, she curls up in the same spot, surveys her domain, and seems to ask: “Did I maximize comfort per square foot?” That’s the feline version of an audit summary.

So yes — my cat made me a better tax accountant. Not by teaching me math, but by teaching me mindfulness. And maybe by reminding me that every spreadsheet deserves a nap break.

graphics and some content from AI


Read more cat humor posts: MSI Press Blog

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Post inspired by the book How My Cat Made Me a Better Man (Jeremy Feig)

Book Description


Jeremy Feig was at rock bottom - broke, alone, and living in a shoebox-sized apartment. At the same time, his cat was perfectly content. What was her secret? She couldn't say it out loud, but it was clear she had all the answers to living a good life. How My Cat Made Me a Better Man is a hilarious self-help book for guys that gals like, too, based on the lessons of an edgy cat named Shelly. It's packed with useful advice on topics like relationships, dealing with stress, and even grooming habits. If you feel like your life is spinning out of control, this book will help you set things right - and keep you laughing along the way. Winner of the Kops-Fetherling International Books Awards legacy humor award and finalist for Book of the Year Award, How My Cat Made Me a Better Man is a "darling" of cat bloggers, recipient of a Readers' Favorite 5-star review, and "highly recommended" by MidWest Book Review. Delightfully illustrated with pen-and-ink drawings by famed Russian artist, Zhenya Yanovich.



AWARDS
Book of the Year finalist
Kops-Fetherling International Book Award, legacy award for humor




Read more posts by and about Jeremy Feig and his book HERE.




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