Daily Excerpt: How My Cat Made Me a Better Man (Feig) - Like a Cat in Heat
This excerpt comes from How My Cat Made Me a Better Man by Jeremy Feig
RELATIONSHIPS
Like a Cat in Heat
Cat Tale: A few months after adopting
Shelly, I learned about her kinky little habit. It began one night when she
started sniffing a fluffy blanket in the living room. She dug her claws into
the fabric, grasping it tightly. Growing aroused, she then bit the blanket and
made prolonged rawrr noises that were infused with sexual energy. For the next
few minutes, she just kept kneading, biting, and rawrring. It totally freaked
me out.
I soon realized that Shelly was just
getting her rocks off. She'd been fixed, but some desires can be tough to
shake. So I had to accept the fact that my cat liked to pleasure herself.
Constantly. It wasn't just with blankets either. She'd hump pillows, towels,
even the occasional Nerf football. If an object was soft and pliable, you can
bet she'd try to hump it.
One day, I received a stuffed turtle as
a gift. A bit smaller than Shelly, it had a plush green body and was
exceptionally soft, like a marshmallow peep wrapped in cotton balls. When
Shelly spotted the turtle, her life changed forever. It was cat love at first
sight.
From that moment on, Shelly became
completely monogamous, not humping anything but the turtle. She would drag it
from room to room, clawing and bleating at the top of her lungs. When I'd step
out of the apartment, I'd immediately hear fevered lovemaking inside as she had
her way with her stuffed green lover.
It was a torrid love affair that lasted
for years. While the turtle never expressed his feelings on the matter, Shelly
had found her soulmate, her most intimate connection. The turtle completed her.
CAT LESSON: We all need someone who truly gets us, someone
we connect with emotionally and physically. Love can be difficult to find. But
once you have it, do your best to never let it go.
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Read more posts by and about Jeremy Feig HERE.
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