How My Cat Made Me a Better News Reporter
People assume news reporting is about deadlines, interviews, and the ability to type while drinking lukewarm coffee. They are wrong. It is about cats.
Specifically, my cat — who has spent years training me in the fine art of feline journalism. I didn’t realize it at first, of course. Cats are subtle. They don’t hand you a syllabus. They simply supervise you until you improve.
1. She taught me investigative persistence
A good reporter never gives up on a lead. A good cat never gives up on a closed door.
My cat will paw, scratch, yowl, and perform interpretive dance until the door opens. She does not care about obstacles. She does not care about logic. She does not care that the door leads to a broom closet.
She wants in, and she will get in.
This is exactly the energy required to chase down a source who keeps saying, “Can we talk next week?”
2. She trained me in stealth observation
Cats are the original paparazzi. They appear silently, stare unblinking, and vanish before you can ask what they’re doing.
My cat has watched me write, cook, sleep, and attempt yoga — all with the detached scrutiny of a seasoned correspondent gathering background for a profile piece.
From her I learned the art of:
standing quietly in a doorway
listening without interrupting
pretending I’m not eavesdropping
Honestly, she’s better at it than I am. She doesn’t even need a notebook.
3. She improved my headline instincts
Cats communicate in headlines. Every action is a breaking-news alert.
BREAKING: Bowl is empty.
UPDATE: Bowl is still empty.
DEVELOPING: Cat may starve within the hour.
EXCLUSIVE: Cat has discovered a crumb under the fridge.
Living with her taught me how to distill any situation into a crisp, punchy summary. She is a master of urgency, drama, and exaggeration — the holy trinity of headline writing.
4. She sharpened my interview skills
Interviewing a cat is excellent practice for interviewing humans who do not want to be interviewed.
Cats:
refuse to answer questions
walk away mid-sentence
change topics without warning
offer cryptic one-word responses (“Mrrrp”)
insist the interview take place on their terms
If you can extract usable information from a cat, you can handle any press conference.
5. She taught me the value of timing
Cats know exactly when to make their move.
My cat will ignore me for hours, then choose the precise moment I’m typing a crucial sentence to leap onto the keyboard and contribute her own editorial opinion (“;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;”).
This is how I learned timing: When to ask a question, when to wait, when to pounce, and when to step back before someone metaphorically claws me.
6. She taught me to write fast
Nothing improves typing speed like a cat who believes your keyboard is her personal chaise lounge.
I have written entire paragraphs in the 3.5 seconds between her deciding to jump and her actually landing. This is Pulitzer-level training.
7. She taught me emotional neutrality
A reporter must remain calm, even when chaos erupts.
A cat owner must remain calm, even when:
a plant crashes to the floor
a hairball appears on the rug
the cat suddenly sprints through the house like she’s reenacting a Marvel chase scene
If I can maintain composure through that, I can maintain composure through anything.
In the end…
My cat didn’t just make me a better reporter. She made me a sharper observer, a faster writer, a calmer human, and a master of the breaking-news alert that is daily life.
She is, in short, my editor-in-chief.
And like all editors, she expects her dinner on time.
graphics and some content from AI
Read more cat humor posts: MSI Press Blog
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Post inspired by the book How My Cat Made Me a Better Man (Jeremy Feig)
Book Description
Jeremy Feig was at rock bottom - broke, alone, and living in a shoebox-sized apartment. At the same time, his cat was perfectly content. What was her secret? She couldn't say it out loud, but it was clear she had all the answers to living a good life. How My Cat Made Me a Better Man is a hilarious self-help book for guys that gals like, too, based on the lessons of an edgy cat named Shelly. It's packed with useful advice on topics like relationships, dealing with stress, and even grooming habits. If you feel like your life is spinning out of control, this book will help you set things right - and keep you laughing along the way. Winner of the Kops-Fetherling International Books Awards legacy humor award and finalist for Book of the Year Award, How My Cat Made Me a Better Man is a "darling" of cat bloggers, recipient of a Readers' Favorite 5-star review, and "highly recommended" by MidWest Book Review. Delightfully illustrated with pen-and-ink drawings by famed Russian artist, Zhenya Yanovich.
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Read more posts by and about Jeremy Feig and his book HERE.
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