How My Cat Made Me a Better Postal Worker
I have never worked for the Postal Service.
My cat, however, believes she supervises it.
Every morning she conducts what I can only describe as a comprehensive mail audit. Before I can read a letter, pay a bill, or recycle a catalog, it must pass feline inspection. She sniffs every envelope for contraband, sits on anything labeled "urgent," and occasionally shreds communications she deems unnecessary.
At first, I found this irritating. Then I realized she was teaching me valuable postal-worker skills.
First: Every piece matters.
To me, a stack of mail looks like a stack of mail. To my cat, every envelope is a unique and fascinating mystery. Somewhere between the electric bill and a coupon for lawn care services may lie a treasure worthy of intense scrutiny.
Good postal workers know this. Every item has a destination and a purpose, even if the recipient doesn't immediately recognize its importance.
Second: Accuracy is everything.
My cat has an uncanny ability to identify the precise document I need and sit directly on it.
Not near it.
Not beside it.
On it.
This has taught me to pay closer attention to where things belong and how quickly important items can disappear into a complex filing system, whether that system is a mail room or a cat.
Third: Customer service requires patience.
Whenever I attempt to retrieve a letter from beneath eighteen pounds of determined feline, negotiations begin. There are discussions. There are concessions. There may be treats.
I imagine this is excellent preparation for handling members of the public.
Fourth: Weather is not an excuse.
Postal workers deliver through rain, snow, and heat.
My cat conducts mail inspections through sunbeams, thunderstorms, vacuum cleaner emergencies, and the occasional existential crisis triggered by seeing another cat through the window.
True dedication is inspiring.
In the end, my cat has taught me that delivering mail is not just about moving envelopes from one place to another. It is about vigilance, persistence, and maintaining professional standards in the face of unpredictable obstacles.
Or at least that's what I tell myself as I wait for her to move off my tax documents.
She hasn't.
It's been three hours.
And, apparently, they are now her tax documents.
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Post inspired by the book How My Cat Made Me a Better Man (Jeremy Feig)
Book Description
Jeremy Feig was at rock bottom - broke, alone, and living in a shoebox-sized apartment. At the same time, his cat was perfectly content. What was her secret? She couldn't say it out loud, but it was clear she had all the answers to living a good life. How My Cat Made Me a Better Man is a hilarious self-help book for guys that gals like, too, based on the lessons of an edgy cat named Shelly. It's packed with useful advice on topics like relationships, dealing with stress, and even grooming habits. If you feel like your life is spinning out of control, this book will help you set things right - and keep you laughing along the way. Winner of the Kops-Fetherling International Books Awards legacy humor award and finalist for Book of the Year Award, How My Cat Made Me a Better Man is a "darling" of cat bloggers, recipient of a Readers' Favorite 5-star review, and "highly recommended" by MidWest Book Review. Delightfully illustrated with pen-and-ink drawings by famed Russian artist, Zhenya Yanovich.
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Read more posts by and about Jeremy Feig and his book HERE.
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